As my head hit the pillow last night the words of Shel Silverstein’s famous poem, “What-if” got me. "Last night, while I lay thinking here, some What-ifs crawled inside my ear and pranced and partied all night long and sang their same old What-if song." Being in our own beds—in our own homes—late at night—can be scary.
These “what-ifs” of which Silverstein wrote are the products of fear; fear of the unknown, fear of the known, fear of the dark, fear of the light, fear of change, fear of stability, fear of loss, fear of gain, fear of... well... fear of fear.
I find my fears I am unable to shake are most often wrapped up neatly in my not addressing them—in the light, and out loud. Identifying them in the dark and in silence are quite enough for me at times, thank you. However, my faith and hope lead me to believe if I ask God to show me my fears in the bright light of the sun AND the bright light of the Son--AND to whisper in my ear what I need and who I am to be, then I will see everything I fear in a completely different
way. I will be not merely be changed or different... but I will be transformed, made new by God, in a way I can neither ask, nor imagine.
It takes courage to realize God knows who we are and what we need. It takes even more courage to hear that and act upon that knowledge. A brilliant man—actually a frightened teenage servant—once said, “Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.” He spent his nights asleep in the temple at the foot of the Ark of the Covenant. It would seem we can’t expect to find all the answers we seek in a church. Samuel certainly didn’t.